Remember my story entitled " Emptiness" and hugs, kisses and reassuring words? There was more story to it.
When I was a little girl my mom beats me with bamboo sticks cause I was a naughty girl unlike my other siblings. In High School, I started to talked back at her. As I had said, my mom and I argued a lot and had a fight almost every day. But even then, when it comes to running errands I was her favorite. There was one time, she was so mad at me because I talked back at her. My Mom she was shaking out of anger, scolded me and I saw tears fell down from her cheeks. At that moment I just looked at her in the eye and in my mind I thought "now we are even".
I loved it when my dad gave me additional pocket money for school but I don't tell my Mom about it or else she would take it back. There were times my Mom puts her arms on my shoulder but I always I shrugged it away. I didn't feel comfortable when she did that because I was not used to it and I thought to my self , "She was just showing off her affections now because for we are in public". I even reached to a point when I got tired of our everyday arguments and fights. My heart was heavy at that time that I shouted over a pillow on my mouth for them not to hear me. I said to the Lord "Lord, I am so tired hating her, I am helpless for no matter what she is my mom and we are living in the same house. If you are real please help me to love her and help her to love me back." Then I cried and cried....
Then, the Lord just ordered everything. My little sister was studying in Manila at that time and my older sister was married and stayed in Cebu so we had no choice but we only had each other. We were already attending church at that time but I was not fully committed to Christ yet.
We didn't have electricty in our house, so the two of us where just in the sofa. Since we can not see each others expression , I took the courage and told her how I felt about her, I was bitter and hated her. She asked 'why?" Then I told her everything and she said "That is not true! She said told me that she love me so much and then she remembered that they had made an agreement with my dad...
When I was much younger, most of the people praised me that I looked like a doll while they asked why my little sister looked different and wondered where did she get her looks? For at that time her teeth looked like a rabbit. But now she looks pretty because my parents let it fixed through braces. Well, to continue ,their agreement was; so that I will not be conceited they will not give their attention to me but instead only to my little sister for they pity her also. Unconsciously my mom was able to take it seriously to the point of unconcsiously hurting me and giving me insecuties. Afer we opened up to each other, we then prayed and asked forgiveness with each other.
And now we are like best friends and funny that God even allowed her to help me take care of my kids which she was not able to do it with my nieces and nephews. Yes, because at that time she was working in the office but now she is retired.
I'm so thankful to GOd for restoring my relationship with my Mom. He indeed changed my heart and now I can truly say that I love my MOm with all my heart!